I need to be accountable

This is a good training week, but it is kind of an anomaly. Lately the integrity of my training has been lacking and I feel I need to blog in order to be accountable for my choices. Even if nobody else is reading. It has been too long that I have just let life be something that happened to me, rather than me being an active participant. I don't mean that I am unhappy - far from it. Jon and Geneva are my everything! But I kind of just have spent the last few years hoping that I would change, without putting any effort into it. Weight doesn't just fall off, muscles don't just get stronger, etc. without conscious effort. Besides fertility treatments, I have never put as much work into anything as I have my running. But it's not enough yet. I need to work harder, be more focused, and not stop even when I'm tired or hurting.

Yesterday I was really feeling energized, so I actually did 2 runs. The morning run was kinda sorta a speed workout (somewhat speedy for me!) with the first mile at 10:03 and the second at 9:36. I was bored in the evening so I ran 3.2 miles at an average of 10:24 (10:45/10:08/10:30/9:23) which, for me, was a good pace. It felt good to be out on a fairly mild night, but my ankles started hurting a little when I got home so I worry I overdid it. Sunday's LSR is only 7 miles (I can't believe I'm referring to 7 miles in such a cavalier fashion - who would have thought I could do this a few months ago?!?) so I'm taking today off and doing a gentle hill workout on Thursday with an easy recovery run on Friday. I'm trying to not get too down on my pace at this point. When I finished C25K in October, my average mile was around 13:30 so knocking 3 minutes a mile off isn't bad. I know I can get better, but I also have to be proud of my accomplishments thus far. My biggest fears are tempo runs and hill repeats, so I am going to make sure I have one of each type of run every week, no matter how I feel - if I don't push myself, I just won't improve.

I am thrilled to have discovered that my wonky feet have a label - Morton's Toe (or Morton's Foot). My poor feet fit the profile exactly - the calluses in all the right places, the length of the second toes, the pain in the balls of my feet - it's nice to know that I'm not just being a wimp and that there really is something not quite right. The looong toe on my right foot is probably going to lose its toenail; it is purple and throbbing and about to drive me crazy. But I am also aware it is a badge of honor for a runner to lose a toenail so I will enjoy even this!

I started drinking green smoothies in place of dinner this week, and I've already lost 3.4 lbs! Spinach, mango, blueberries, water, stevia, and ginger - it's actually really yummy (Geneva loves it) and I feel so virtuous drinking it. All I need is to drop a few pounds to get my motivation back; I read how even a few pounds can really improve running times, so hopefully 10 will really speed me up!